In my understanding, love between two people can take place only when each of them has turned into a spiritually mature personality, and it can become truly deep and beautiful only in the case when relationship comes from freedom. In matters of the senses, any pressure on another person only causes resistance.
Love is freedom, but not the freedom that does not recognize obligations. Love is a commitment that you honor, and the freedom of choice that you give to another person. I think it is important that our love does not become a choke for those close to us. We must follow the obligations to the beloved people, but at the same time allow them to breath freely.
To love is to be near when there is a need, as well as to step back a little when space becomes too small for two. Once I talked with an elderly wise person, I liked his idea: “If my wife says that she is tired and wants to stay in the country in peace and quiet, my business is to quietly bring some food, leave it on the doorstep of the house and also quietly withdraw from her so that she can rest “.
Love is the responsibility that we are voluntarily taking upon ourselves. To love means to owe. “I do not owe anything to anyone” – is not about love. It’s the other person who doesn’t owe anything to you. Absolutely nothing. But I do. I must be caring, I must be faithful, I must serve the person I love. These things are related to the love that comes out of freedom.
Love is security. Love means that a person next to you can be real. He is allowed to be weak, allowed to be in doubt, allowed to be ugly, allowed to hurt, allowed to make mistakes. Hysteria, quarrels, arguments, negative emotions, lack of courage and determination are not a reason to stop loving a person. And can anyone stop loving someone, if love is a gift that you share with all your heart, without demanding anything in return? Love is above any actions your beloved person commits. To be near during troublesome times as well as during times of joy, to be always available, to be always in touch. Be the one about whom your beloved people know – he will never betray.
It is important for children to know that the family is the safest place in the world. For aging parents it’s important to know that they are needed and loved, that they will be protected for the rest of their lives. For a husband, it is important to know that his wife loves him, regardless of success at work, and it is important for his wife to know that he will be there regardless of how she will look ten years from now, and even in fifty! And it’s not about promises; it’s about something else, about something deep and real. You do not need to talk about this; you must live your life in such a way that the one who is near you feels safe. This kind of life means true love.
Love requires maturity and awareness. To love means to understand that close relationships are impossible without crisis, to understand that feeling needs time to ripen, that love cannot be a continuous holiday. Love is a deep work on oneself, first of all. Love is a series of deaths and new births. Love is the exposure of the most vulnerable points; love is the courage to be real. Love is the courage to go out into the unknown territory.
To love or not to love is always our personal choice, we do not need to impose it on another person. The beauty of true love is to give from the heart and be grateful that the other person has agreed to accept it. The one who knows how to love will be happy. It’s not about whether you were at least once in love, but whether you managed to become so deep and mature to live with an awakened heart. Love is light, love is the shine of the heart, and love is the best that we can give to the world around us!